Back to student mode

The first week back to ubc was horrible.

This is how we entertain ourselves and our teacher:

We LEARNT from our students during practicum and behaved like a student IS in our UBC classroom.

Our teacher gave us something to work on. After she gave the instruction and handed a worksheet to each of us, we began yelling from our seats:

S: Do we need to put our names on?
T: YES

S: What's today's date?
T: May something

S: What's our block?
T: G *we actually don't have a block name!!!*

S: Is it for marks?
T: YES
S(from whole class): ar....... *complain*

S: Pen or pencil?
T: doesn't matter

S: I don't get it.
T (in her heart and on her face): I just gave the instruction. Were you not listening or just dumb?

Ridiculous ICBC

I crashed my car last sunday. I back up in a one-way parking lot and my friend came from the wrong direction and I crashed his car. I asked ICBC if the *wrong* way count. ICBC searched for past cases and found this:

In the decision, the court found that even though there were arrows in the parking lot, they were not considered to be "traffic control devices" as defined by the Motor Vehicle Act. Additionally, there was evidence that it was common practice for vehicles to go against the direction of the arrows. Though it may sound strange, it seems like the court found that as more people disobeyed the sign, the more it meant that the sign was not a "traffic control device" as defined by the Motor Vehicle Act.

What's *truth*? What is *right*? What is *correct*? What is *Justice*?

As a result, I am 100% liable. I am physically fine. My car will get a new pat pat finally. =D

手機潛水

點都估唔到我可以跌咗部手機落水，意外就是意外，要發生都避唔到。

我把手機放在褸袋內準備隨時接honey電話，點知去廁所轉身關門時聽到一聲巨響，我馬上轉身看看掉了什麼，誰知我看見手機在水裏噴泡泡在叫救命！

我不顧一切伸手入水將手機拯救出來。然後腦內不停想以前看的email教我們怎樣處理同類事件：關機，唔係，應該係拆電！

我手都震埋，之後，不停抺乾，shake下又有水出，條手繩就濕透了。哎！老套到爆！

bf vs fb

me: hey, i find that this person has fb
ll: what? u mean... she has a bf?
me: noooo!!!! fb! it's not bf! FACEBOOK not BOYFRIEND!!
ll: hahahhaahaha.....

鼠鼠鼠鼠

年三十，

又帶著性感的聲線過年

仲帶住帶了一個月的手扣過年

第一次遲到開會：過年前，終於嘗試了第一次番工坐巴士瞓到坐過龍去了downtown，仲要揀正一早八點要開會的早上。真刺激

臨過年的血光之災：第一次刷牙俾個牙刷撞爆牙肉係咁流牙血。

真係鼠鼠聲過鼠年。

低能相

扮低能仔

做咩用我部機自拍？

很明顯我的表弟經常性哈女朋友
好彩我的wayne哥哥不是這樣

去到正在擴展中的ROM = Royal Ontario Museum：

等待四點半的免費入場時，扮大爺

他看見這個側望是Gucci的埃及古董興奮到爆！
點知一拍照便被保安禁止我們再影，有一點矇，見諒。

這兒空置了，尚未放正式的展品，表弟暫時成為展品之一

論文後遺症 二

媽：咦？點解你唔跟榮上班？
我：點解要跟他上班？
媽：你以前成日都跟他
我：啊！哈哈哈！我想今日執房嘛！
媽：嘩！是什麼大日子？！好好好！

（以前跟榮上班，是因為想在一個能專心的地方寫文，又不缺乏廁所，飲料，同一Ｄ會鼓勵你而不打擾你的人氣，即係有正能量的地方）

信用咭

有一天教補習學生計信用咭的利息還款。

c: 嘩！好難
m: 你要學懂，將來便識計，知道銀行有否收多你錢
c: 咁麻煩，我第時大個唔用信用咭，只用cash便得

-_-'''

由無變有

看着十年級的補習學生用計數機去算出分數0/2的答案。
一條見到就知答案的數。見他咁小心用計數機，都不阻止他了，總好過他亂估一通。

c: 答案是0.5
m（簡直目定口呆）: 咩話？
c: 咩呀？啱呀，zero over 2 嘛，咪0.5囉
m（真是想砍頭埋牆）: 你部計數機壞咗呀？0/2 = 0.5?
c（一面按計數機，一面說）：哪，zero over 2 equals 0.5!

我們一齊望住計數機上的零字
他已忍不住笑了出來

m: 吓？你部計數機咁特別嘅?零除二等於零點五？
c: 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！係zero.
m: 你表演magic咩？0.5?

他笑到扒在枱上

老細你玩野呀？

先前老細問我可否加放一幅spectrum落我份論文上，於是我今日不停找尋一幅好好睇睇的圖。其實當年我們出份paper時也沒有放進去，他一句：it would be nice to have it... 或者 why don't u put this in?
我便係咁揾。終於找到一幅，但我又真的覺得好唔掂，於是膽粗粗問老細可否不放，仲用之前份publication來撐自己。
今日，他竟然話，幅圖其實真係無咩代表性，做咩放進去？

anyhow做小咗野都係好的。

他今日唔知做咩好不專心幫我proofread。
上次他改的，今日又改回原形。
例子一：



真係好有difficulty，份野絕對是 big challenge 啦！



例子二：



咁玩法真係有排都無result

無條件的愛

有一日，阿爸話姑姐好錫我，留番Ｄ美食給我。
而阿爸自己又話對我好好，因為沒有將Ｄ食物吃清光，留番給我。

爸：哪，唔知你有無對我們咁好嘞

我忍不住問：爸，乜唔係不計回報同無條件㗎咩？

想不到爸媽異口同聲說：母愛就係！
媽：哎，到你為人母便知道

其實我明㗎，都經歷了這麼多年，天父的愛咪係咁囉！

好好聽

我：媽，你有收聽上星期的 ＰＰ９５９嗎？
媽：有！哈，那個Alan講得幾好
我：係呀，他講豬年運程，你有聽呀呵？
媽：有！幾好聽呀！我聽聽下瞓着咗

我不禁笑了出來，好聽 —> 瞓着，都幾矛盾喎...

我會...

看見Wayne哥哥大大老細轉載自明報的post

曾蔭權在2月1日宣布角逐連任時說﹕「我會做好呢份工！」，如果換轉是其他行業或者其他人，
應該會這樣說吧﹕

地盤佬﹕「我會鑽好呢個窿！」

氣功師﹕「我會發好呢次功！」

八達通公司﹕「我會整好八達通！」

天文台﹕「我會測好呢個風！」

鐘表師﹕「我會整好呢個鐘！」

廚師﹕「我會爆好呢碟蔥！」

╳╳公司的專業員工﹕「我會五點九就鬆…… 」

孫明揚(房屋及規劃地政局長)拆走鐘樓，送去堆填區﹕「我會送好呢個鐘。」

由於我的專業，令我想起我的個人version:

我會博好呢個士！
仲有
我會塑好呢條膠！
同埋
我會寫好呢篇文！

新聞報告

今晚聽見新聞報告警方通輯疑犯：

...牙齒發黃，額頭有瘡。

what?

牙齒發黃都是一些不容易改變的事實

但額頭有瘡？用遮蔽瑕疵膏咪無囉...點捉賊呀...

too much -> allergic?

tonight, i was talking to a boy...

m: david, eat some apple
d: i ate a piece already
m: have some more
d: no.. i think i m allergic to apple
m: why? did your mom tell u that?
d: no... i think if i eat too much, i'll be allergic to it
m: did u eat a lot?
d: yes. when my mom asked me what fruit do i want, i had an apple. n i also ate some at grandma's.
m: hey... if u've eaten that many and u r still fine, then u r not allergic to it!!!

then he walked away...
i don't think he'll get apple poison like snow white....

tonight's dinner

i was a bit crazy during tonight's dinner...

mom was asking me what lunch do i wanna have for tomorrow.
mom: 飯雞魚?
me: mom? was that a name of a person (范雞余)？

mom has been coughing for a long time.
she was complaining dad said that she's having 萬日咳.
me: mom... nevermind, u've said he has 雞咳 before...

PhD stands for...

Pizza Hut Delivery

Permanent Head Damage

Pai Hai Dou (趴係道)

it actually means Doctor of Philosophy...

abt your teeth

after lunch... my labmate b (is a girl) was talking to labmate k (is a boy)

b (open her mouth): anything stuck b/t my teeth?
k (carefully looked): nope.
b: if i do, will u take it out for me?
k: err... nope. i'll tell u to take it out.

i really wanna ask my honey that question n c what he answered...

cell phone....

me: what? just come w/ me! u can call him (xsh's sh) later.
xsh: arr... he left his cell phone in the car...
me: haha! what a coincidence! i left mine at home!
xsh: heehee! n actually mine has no battery!
me and xsh: HAHAHAHAHA!!
honey: -_-||| (who are these people!??)

cheezeee cakeee!!!

oh man...
was so excited for the department coffee time today as they r serving cheese cake.
lining up... looking forward... right! it's my turn... there's a plate... but.. where's the spoon or fork!?
man... i asked around.. n they seemed to bring their own utensils...
what!?
arr... so i went back to my lab...
alright.. glad that i have a spare table-spoon to use... which is... better than using my chopsticks for cheese cake...